38 years ago I had my daughter at 24 weeks pregnant. The junior doctors where talking over her, saying this is a typical premature baby, seemed like they were talking for ages this time could of possibly saved her life. She was transferred to a neonatal hospital, but she gained her tiny wings on the way. She only lived for 1 hour. In my heart I couldn't bury her, so the hospital put her in a communal grave with 3 little boys.

It took me around 30 years to find her because I kept saying to myself maybe it was a mistake and she is out there somewhere they've given her new parents. I looked for years. I didn't know where she was buried, didnt know where to look, but then I thought I'll ring the cemeterys close to home. I gave them all the information I had and I found her after 36 years. When I got there I couldn't find the grave, I sat crying, I'm so close to her but walked up and down for ages, then sat crying. I was going to give up, but then a nice lady asked me if I'm ok. I said yes but I wasnt. The next day I went again thinking I will find her. The gardeners where there, I asked them if could they help me, he looked on computer and there she was, so I walked to where he told me but there was nothing with her name but there was a grave with a boys name on it. I went back said I can't find it, he came and looked and yes this was her grave too.

There was no name for her, nothing, I've tried to put a little something on there for her, but can't do to much as I've been told I have to have permission from the other parents to do it, but at this time I'm just trying to tidy up her grave maybe do some white small stone. I have some glass wings on there with her name on but it doesn't feel complete, I need a sign to say if I should leave her there of move her alone such a hard dession, even though I've gone on to have more children they were all premature babies and they all lived I can now talk about her, but it still hurts. But I say to people never give up the baby neonatal units a much better than what they had years ago, my baby TAMMY is always in my heart and I will meet her one day xx

Belinda Steel Belindasteel@hotmail.co.uk No Yes